Message me if you want ._.
I’m that old friend, that always seemed so happy, but deep under the mask was actually always deeply hurt. I’m the friend that puts on a mask every day before school, just to look like I’m happy. Just to look like I’m okay with it, when deep inside, I’m not. I don’t want to be someones last resort, I don’t want to be the person you turn to when everyone else is busy. I don’t want to be the forgotten one. But that’s who I am, and I’m not good enough to be something else. I know I’m not good enough to be your best friend, the first person you think of when you hear the word ”Best Friend”. I know I’m not good enough to be special to you in any way, not being that friend that you’ll remember for a long time. I know I’m not good enough to cry on your shoulder about my problems, because who would want to be ”friends” with that depressed kid? Who would want to be ”friends” with that kid that is always sad and destroys everyones mood with his miserable life? Who would want to be ”friends” with that freak you has cut scars on his arms just to be able to control his emotions? Who would want to be ”friends” with that weirdo who is and has been considering killing himself? No one, that’s the answer, no one wants to be ”friends” with that kid and that’s why I can never have real friends. That’s why my ”friends” always leave me for someone else, someone they are not ashamed to call their ”friend”, someone that they can have a normal conversation with, someone that can act like a normal person. Because no one wants to be ”friends” with that kid, when there are so many other that would make much better friends. That’s why I’m always going to be alone, because I’m broken, I’m malfunctioning, I’m like a jigsaw missing half of it’s pieces, worthless and broken beyond repair. Why would people waste their time and energy trying to repair me when they can just forget about me? It would be so much easier for them. I’m that broken, worthless, thing that you throw away in the trashcan because you know it’s not going to function again. Because you know it’s worthless and not worth keeping. I’m that person that could just disappear and no one would notice, because I am not worth noticing. The worst part of pretending to always be strong is that no one ever wonders if you are okay.